The frost on the trees this morning is beautiful and foreboding, kinda cold to be out. I am thankful for the fire and blanket on my couch where I can look out and see the sunrise and the frost on the trees.
There is nothing more alive than the sunrise. In it I have an amazing awareness of my own mortality. There are only so many of these in a lifetime...my lifetime.
The privilege of being present to the beauty and comfort is amazing. Even overwhelming. Just letting it be what it is and realizing the hugeness of it all. The earth rotating around the sun, spinning and rotating around the Milky Way that is spinning and rotating around a black hole that is spinning and rotating around a universe that is probably spinning and rotating around with other unknown universes in an omni-universe....and here I sit learning how to be conscious of my small piece of it all, spinning and rotating around my own life.
The sun is getting brighter and the paleness of the blue sky is darkening. The promise of some warmth inspires hopes of getting outside. The adventure is no small thing. What will I do with this day? Just one of the few that I have been given. If I live a hundred years it would be 36,500 days. I turn 46 this month so that would be a little more than half left say 20,000 if I round up (hey, I could live to a hundred and two).
20,000 days. what to do with them. What is the best use of the only real resource I have been given (time)? Ariel found a quote when she was fifteen. "You do what you do because of what you value most at the time." I forget who said it, but I think of it often.
What do I value most? The truth is that I value the relationships I have most. I have stopped most of my dysfunctional behavior by being honest with myself, however I still find myself doing things or feeling a desire to do the old (dysfunctional) things. Because I value acceptance so much. And when you value the acceptance of others above things like honesty, integrity, and forgiveness...well, that's when things can get messed up.
People need to hear that they are good, acceptable and loved. Appreciation and thankfulness are strongly linked to happiness and even longevity. Why, then, do we withhold it and give it only when we feel safe? Why do I wait to tell the ones I love the most that they are good, acceptable, and loved?
So, I choose to let people know that it is safe. It is safe to feel good and acceptable. I do not do this with words, but with my heart. In order to send this message you must believe it in your heart. This is done by forgiving all the pain and hurt and un-safety we have experienced. This is done by, despite all the dysfunctional past behaviors, choosing to be present. Choosing honesty, integrity & forgiveness over others' approval.
Set your heart on peace. This provides a base of safety for gratitude in your life. This base of peace and safety is shared by not letting others chaos disturb it and not allowing the spinning and rotating of everyones own universe to trump the power of being present.
By seeing the sunrise over and through the frosty trees, I know that even in most painful realization of our limits (loss or pain), that it will be alright if we let it be. There is great power in just being safe for others.
What do you value most? Do your daily life choices express that? Continue the conversation. Comments can be anonymous.